The Top 10 Questions NOT to Ask Your Tattoo Artist
The Top 10 Questions NOT to Ask Your Tattoo Artist
Hey there, ink enthusiasts! Micah Bartram here, your friendly neighborhood tattoo artist with some sage advice. Ever find yourself sitting in a tattoo chair, awkwardly wondering what to chat about while needles buzz away at your skin? Fear not, for today, I present the top 10 questions you should definitely not ask your tattoo artist. Trust me, your artist will thank you, and you might even save yourself from a permanent cringe tattoo!
1. “Does it hurt?”
Really? You’re about to have a needle repeatedly jab into your skin, and you’re asking if it hurts? Let’s just say it’s not quite a relaxing massage. But hey, it’s all worth it for that sweet, sweet ink!
2. “Can you give me a discount?”
Unless you’ve brought us coffee, donuts, and a winning lottery ticket, probably not. Tattoos are permanent, and you don’t want to bargain-shop your way to a lifetime of regret. Remember, you get what you pay for!
3. “Can you tattoo my boyfriend/girlfriend’s name on me?”
Ah, young love. If I had a dollar for every cover-up I’ve done of someone’s ex’s name, I’d be retired on a beach somewhere, sipping a piña colada. Maybe try a nice, neutral design instead, like a heart or a dragon. Dragons never break your heart.
4. “Can you do this design exactly like it is on Pinterest?”
Ah, Pinterest. The land of impossible DIY projects and tattoos that may or may not be photoshopped. Bring in your inspiration, sure, but let’s create something unique to you. Your skin deserves a one-of-a-kind masterpiece!
5. “Can you make it quick? I have somewhere to be.”
Sure, and while we’re at it, let’s ask Da Vinci if he can wrap up the Mona Lisa in a couple of hours. Good tattoos take time, and rushing the process is not an option. Relax and enjoy the ride!
6. “Can I have a tiny tattoo for free?”
Let me think… nope! While small tattoos are quicker, they still require skill, time, and supplies. My landlord doesn’t accept payment in smiles, and neither do I.
7. “How much for a sleeve? And can I have it done today?”
Asking for a full sleeve in a day is like asking if you can eat an entire pizza in one bite. Technically possible, but not advisable. Sleeves take time, planning, and several sessions. Patience, young grasshopper.
8. “What’s your worst tattoo mistake?”
Why, are you planning to join my personal shame club? Look, everyone makes mistakes, but tattoo artists are perfectionists. We prefer to focus on the awesome tattoos we’re creating now, not relive past nightmares.
9. “Can I bring my five friends to watch?”
Sorry, folks, but this isn’t a spectator sport. Extra people mean extra distractions, and distractions are the nemesis of quality work. One supportive buddy is fine, but any more, and it starts to feel like a party. And I forgot to bring the chips.
10. “Can I get this tattoo removed if I don’t like it?”
Well, yes, but tattoo removal is a long, painful, and expensive process. Why not save yourself the trouble and make sure you’re 100% committed to the design before we start?
Bonus: “Are you sure you know what you’re doing?”
If I had a nickel for every time I heard that… Trust me, I know what I’m doing. You’re in good hands. Now, let’s focus on making your tattoo dreams a reality, without any awkward questions.
Remember, a tattoo session is a collaboration between you and your artist. Treat it with respect, and it’ll be an experience you’ll cherish forever. Happy inking!
